Are There Any Good Men Left?
Good men are hard to find. So are good women. In fact, good people are hard to find. When it comes to couples, both people usually consider themselves to be… good. However that doesn’t mean they are good for each other.
A neighbor once said to me, “A good man is hard to find and I may never meet one.” Let’s call her Pepsi. Pepsi worked as a hairstylist by day and an exotic dancer by night. Her combination of occupations made me want to reply: “Well, duh…” After all, salons full of gossiping women and smoky clubs full of horny guys aren’t ideal places to find a soul mate. Then I realized the issue wasn’t her occupation or workplace; it was the fact that, in spite of the stereotypes I put on the way she made her living, she still considered herself a good woman, and she wanted a good man.
So what exactly is a good man? Many women will judge a man the same way all of us judge anything: by his qualities. The first thing to remember here is that opposites attract! No one wants a mirror image of themselves. What about other qualities? Here are the top five when a group of women were polled, and believe it or not, his bank account wasn’t one of them:
Ladies, does he respect you? Do you respect yourself? Does he always put the toilet seat down? Just kidding about the last question, but honestly, does he do some of the things that you fail to mention to him that you like? Does he share with you? Hopefully you are able to answer “yes” to a few of these.
A good man knows his strengths and weaknesses, and constantly works on his weak areas. Does he let her win sometimes? When you’re around other guys, is he secure enough with himself to know that you may have other male friends, but you”re leaving with him?
Men as well as women tend to put on a show when first meeting each other. We all look better the moment we arrive at a party than we do when we wake up the next morning. Just make sure that the show isn’t too far from the truth. Once you get past the first impressions, are you being honest with each other about your intentions? Honesty is the best policy, even if it’s not the answer you want.
Does you take a moment to think about what he’s going to say before he says it? Does he consider how it will affect you? Does he remember your birthday and any other special dates? Does he offer to take care of some extra chores once in a while? A philosopher once said: “Love is the condition where another person’s happiness is essential to your own.”
If you answered yes to a number of these questions, chances are you’ve got a good man. Notice I said good, not perfect.
Are you the type of woman who only wants a certain kind of man? Please don’t get caught up with stereotypes. Shallowness leads to loneliness. I hear a lot of women say they want a man who looks a certain way or makes a certain amount of money, but very few of you want the anxiety of trying to keep up with the perfect man. Most of you figure if a man is perfect, you have to be perfect too. Even if someone is perfect today, they may not always be.
As for the question, “Are there any good men left?” Of course there are. Your challenge lies in finding a man that you can be good to, and you both can be good to each other. As a woman, it’s your right to want a man you can be everything to. Both men and women all want perfection, but if we can let that go, we can fall in love with each other.
James Branch is the author of, “When Girls Talk, Some Guys Listen – Understanding Women Through Their Behavior.” Available online and in participating bookstores. Visit www.whengirlstalk.com
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