Only about 3% of the 4,000 animal species are monogamous. Of that 3%, not including humans, only one species mates for life. The male anglerfish finds a mate and fuses itself to the female anglerfish. Their bodies begin to grow together and share food. Ultimately, the male anglerfish becomes a sperm-producing organ, completely dependent on the female for survival. The male fish ultimately becomes nothing more than a means for the female fish to reproduce.
So, is it possible? Is it possible to be with one person for life?
I think each situation is unique. When did the relationship begin? How much whoring has the couple done outside of each other before marriage or long-term commitment? Regardless of gender, I think that some people are just wired to be serial monogamists. Most of these people are women, but there are some men that find that special one and then hold on.
What did couples do fifty years ago to remain together? Drink excessively? Seriously, the divorce rate has seen a steady increase over the last fifty years. Moreover, in the early 1900’s a marriage could only be ended if there was proof of adultery or cruelty. These days many marriages don’t make it past the first year.
Five potential reasons marriages USED to last forever:
- Grow together - How many older women have you heard say they “learned” to love their husband? People grow and change constantly. It is imperative to remain on the same page as your mate. Share activities and hobbies in common, while maintaining some separation. Too much of anything is bad; I don’t care if it’s chocolate cake or a good man. Give each other time to miss one another. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
- Let a man be a man- People who don’t know me well would be surprised to learn that I am very old-fashioned. I do believe in “men’s” work and “women’s” work. That doesn’t mean that a man can’t cook a meal every now and then or a woman can’t put air in her own tire, but household framework makes the house strong. So, I don’t have a problem with handling the cooking, cleaning, or anything else domestic. But, trust and believe, my man better protect our house from harm, kill all bugs, take out the trash, and lift heavy things. On a serious note, define chores and duties in the household to create harmony and a sense of accountability.
- Communicate - Communication is important. Talk on a regular basis. I don’t mean dishing dirt on friends and family or complaining about work. Take the time out to share your goals and dreams with your partner, and take the time to actually listen to each other.
- Never stop dating - So many relationships get stale because you get comfortable. My grandfather called my grandmother “Love” until the day he died, and he said it with a love in his eyes that you don’t see every day. Take time to make your partner feel special and wanted. If you don’t someone else may do it for you. When you first started dating, a random rendezvous could happen on a Tuesday evening. Keep the spontaneity of dating an element in your relationship.
- Be patient - When all else fails, the key to a successful relationship is to be as passive aggressive as possible. Just kidding. Seriously, even when your mate has habits that drive you insane, let it go. Everything is not worth fighting over. An old boyfriend once told me that I was perfect. I know that I am not perfect in the classic sense of the word, but he meant I was perfect for him despite my flaws. Make your mate truly believe that they are perfect for you.
In the end, society might be past the notion of marriage forever “Until death do us part.”. People have been reciting those vows for years, but they have become empty words. Marry someone with honest eyes, someone you can talk to for hours, and someone who can make you laugh. When the passion fades, you will need something to get through the years. So, why do you think the anglerfish make it work? Is it because of the short life span of the male? Or maybe people are only meant to be monogamous for short periods of time? I think we just need to take a page from our grandparent’s generation. Marry for a love that will grow with the years.
~Pretty Sexy by Janine
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